Torleif Sorenson

Born in a tiny fishing village on Norway's rugged coastline, Tor initially trained to be a classical musician, but later decided to lead the glamorous life of a Norwegian deep-sea fisherman. However, on a stormy winter afternoon in 1992, evil Swedish gangsters boat-jacked his ship and forced Tor and his heroic Norwegian crew to sail to a garbage-strewn port somewhere in New Jersey. He and his crew escaped unharmed, but four of the evil Swedish gangsters ingested large quantities of Russian vodka and stale lutefisk, became delusional, and firebombed Tor's boat with a Molotov cocktail. The evil gangsters eluded the FBI and New Jersey State Police and fled back to Sweden.

Undaunted, Tor set out to seek his fortune here in America. Just as many of his countrymen immigrated to Minnesota; Tor settled in the Twin Cities, rekindled his love of music, and also became quite enamored with golf and hockey. In fact, he actually served as the assistant to the radio producer for the NHL's Minnesota North Stars during their last season in Minnesota (1992-93).

In 1994, he joined the Minneapolis-based horn-funk band Stone Foundation while playing six-string bass guitar, as opposed to the usual four-string bass. He recorded two Cds with the group (a 1994 studio album and a live EP in 1996), and was a part of two Minnesota Music Award nominations, but remained with the band only until their tour bus was involved in a horrific crash near Kansas City. As the bus careened off a tall bridge, Tor managed to dive out a side window before the bus plunged 230 feet from the freeway overpass into a stockyard near the Missouri River. The fully-loaded bus exploded in a spectacular fireball, killing several hundred head of beef cattle.

(In a strange coincidence, the Kansas City Star's restaurant critic reported soon after that his steak dinners seemed a bit overcooked.)

Cutting his losses, Tor returned to Minneapolis and instantly became an experienced technical support analyst. After four years in Colorado as a technical writer and web developer at MCI-WorldCom and a second job as a classical music host and producer at Colorado's best public radio station, he returned to Minnesota, where he is currently seeking work in technical documentation and/or project coordination.

Torís broad experience as a highly-experienced and well-trusted technical writer gives him, amongst other things, the authority to make up portions of his own biography.